Stream of consciousness

I'm writing much less than I used to. That's in part due to a lot of work during the day and relatively short time to work on projects during the evening/morning. However, as the world goes by at increasing speed, it gets hard to not to feel overwhelmed. Some days are quieter than others, but on this Monday morning I'm really feeling the force of the kinetic energy pushing. This is going to be a tough week work-wise, a kick-off week of some sort, with quite a lot of associated stress.

There's also a little feeling of excitement. I know a lot will probably happen. Seems like excitement often comes with apprehension. It's strange. Why am I adding unneeded anxiety to the mix? If something wrong happens, then be it. No amount of apprehension would prevent it. Seems rather logical, right? Well, it still doesn't help so much. Perhaps I'm just unreasonable. Or perhaps I just need a good vacation. Not the kind where I stay home, but the kind where I go somewhere. A mountain maybe? Take a little retreat from the speed, the noise, the "now" and the let my only anxiety be to know if the coffee is good.

It's okay to slow down, but I tend to forget about it. Doing things is addictive, may it be at work, or on personal projects. What matters is the reason we're doing something. Is it for the serotonin rush, the feeling of accomplishment that comes with it? If so, perhaps it's good to revisit the motivations. Chasing the next serotonin hit is a slippery slope that narrows perspectives and will only take you so far. And in what direction?

So hey, let this be the theme of this week for me.


Written with Smol Pub
From Dusk's End, Nightfall City